Good morning world. This morning I am 70 pounds lighter than I was on January 3rd. I am ahead of my planned schedule. I'm not changing my schedule because I know the last pounds are harder than the first ones.
Today I want to basically make a list. A friend of mine asked me early in the process why I wanted to do this - to go on this journey. Below are some of the reasons. This is a list of both reasons why and things I want to be able to do or ways I want to live. For those of you who have never struggled with your weight or your struggle has been 20 extra pounds many of these things may be things you've never thought about but they are things that at least I always have in the back of my mind.
1. I want to be able to walk up a couple flights of stairs and not be breathing heavier
2. I want to adjust the seat of my car according to leg room and comfort rather than belly room
3. I don't want to limit myself to cars with an adjustable steering wheel because I need it the highest to get in and out. (Side note - it's about time to move mine down a notch)
4. I want to be able to stay at a friends house without worrying about the type of bed I'm sleeping in and whether or not it will hold me.
5. I want to climb Spruce Mountain
6. I want to "save" or help as many people as I can find freedom (from whatever they need freedom from) and I will live longer and be able to relate to more people if I complete this journey.
7. Air travel
a) I want to not have to use a seat belt extension on an airplane
b) I don't want to be embarrassed by my size if another person has to sit beside me
c) I don't want to be the "fat guy" passengers say made their flight uncomfortable when they get to their destination
d) I want to be able to put my tray table down in front of me comfortably.
8. I don't want my weight to be a reason for my decisions (what chair to sit in, what activities to do, etc.)
9. Go down Spruce Lake's Zip Line
10. Be happy with how I look and feel
11. Buy clothes from a regular department store instead of a big and tall store (or big and tall section)
12. Buy clothes that don't need to be altered
13. I want to not have any questions about whether or not I should qualify for health or life insurance
14. I want to be able to lift what I should be able to lift, carry what I should be able to carry, etc without having to take a break or get help (this one is a little vague I know).
15. I want to walk into a room and turn heads, not because of my size but because of my incredible fashion sense. : )
16. I want to "rock" some songs in a worship or concert setting and not be out of breath
17. Shovel out my car in the winter without having to take a break
There are a few things I want to do in the process of getting to my goal weight or after I get there as well. A few of them are above but here are a few more...
1. Complete a 5k race
2. Run a 5k race
3. Run "the hill" at Camp Hebron (it killed me this march when I walked it a couple times a day but I lost 11 pounds that week so I'm not complaining - I just want to conquer it)
4. Be a coach (officially or unofficially) to help others hit their goals and dreams
5. Run a 12:43 two mile run (something my high school soccer coach asked for every season and I was never able to do)
6. And in the back of my mind there are thoughts of 1/2 marathons, marathons, and triathlons but so far they are only in the back of my mind.
I've been encouraged to review my list and see what common themes are there as well as to see if there is a spiritual component or theme running through some or all of the list. Those reflections are for a later post.
For now, my summary is, I want to be happy, healthy, and live the abundant life God desires all his children to have.
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
This blog is set up to chronicle a journey to health and freedom. While I will be reporting on my physical health I believe that as a result of this journey I will also have a spiritual awakening and become more like Christ. Upon arrival I believe I will truly be able to say, "less of me and more of Him."
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Pressure and rest.
If you are a student of weight loss and/or watch The Biggest Loser with any regularity you've probably seen comments and discussion on how stress and rest affect weight loss.
This week I've struggled because I felt like maybe I was plateauing a bit. Calories and activity level were good but the scales didn't show what I wanted it to.
This weekend was fairly active but I still didn't see any movement on the scales. Generally the lowest weight of the day is seen in the morning. The weekend was the first event we'd run in a while and we don't have our summer staff in yet so it makes the hours longer and for me the stress higher. My quality of sleep was pretty decent but the quantity wasn't great.
This afternoon I came home, took a three hour nap, woke up refreshed and less stressed because of the event being over.
The results? The event went fairly well and the numbers were lower this evening than this morning.
So I can see that it appears to be true for me. Well rested and free of pressure and stress and the numbers on the scale go down. So then the question is, how do I live intentionally in a way that creates that type of atmosphere all the time? Today's post is simply a question. I'm hoping answers show up in posts to come.
So for today, a reminder I'm still on the journey. Here's to stress free restful days and rolling back numbers as we go along.
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
Eric
This week I've struggled because I felt like maybe I was plateauing a bit. Calories and activity level were good but the scales didn't show what I wanted it to.
This weekend was fairly active but I still didn't see any movement on the scales. Generally the lowest weight of the day is seen in the morning. The weekend was the first event we'd run in a while and we don't have our summer staff in yet so it makes the hours longer and for me the stress higher. My quality of sleep was pretty decent but the quantity wasn't great.
This afternoon I came home, took a three hour nap, woke up refreshed and less stressed because of the event being over.
The results? The event went fairly well and the numbers were lower this evening than this morning.
So I can see that it appears to be true for me. Well rested and free of pressure and stress and the numbers on the scale go down. So then the question is, how do I live intentionally in a way that creates that type of atmosphere all the time? Today's post is simply a question. I'm hoping answers show up in posts to come.
So for today, a reminder I'm still on the journey. Here's to stress free restful days and rolling back numbers as we go along.
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
Eric
Sunday, April 24, 2011
And then came today.
"Comforted by the warmth of the fire and the familiar company and a presence they all feel but can't quite explain they wait out the night mostly in silent reflection on their own thoughts. Where do we go from here? What happens now? Some may even drift off to a troubled sleep. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow..."
As the darkness begins to fade, those who were awake all night slowly pull themselves out of their own thoughts and look to the group. The fire is built back up. Several people scrounge for breakfast. Those who were sleeping are starting to come out of their troubled sleep. The line between sleep and awake not yet clearly crossed.
And then the footsteps. Some one running towards them. Some one shouting. The disciples look at each other, unsure what to do. Should they hide? Should they run? But at this point, tired and on the verge of despair, they gather around the fire and wait. And then she comes.
Mary Magdalene. Running. Yelling. Frantically trying to communicate while gasping for air. As she gets her breath the story unfolds. Tomb. Anointing. Empty grave. Body gone. Angels. Alive? I saw him. He called my name.
And Peter and John are racing towards the tomb. It couldn't be. She's gone crazy from the shock of his death. And there it is. The stone rolled away. The grave is empty. A glimpse of hope. Looking for a logical explanation.
Peter and John. Do you remember...? He said... I thought... Could he have meant? What would it mean? We saw him raise others from the dead. Yeah, but I... Is it possible?
"He is Risen, He's Alive.
No grave could keep Him down.
He is Risen, He's alive.
He's no longer in the ground.
Don't you remember what He told you,
The Son of Man must die.
And in three days He'll rise again
He is Risen, He's Alive.
HE IS RISEN! HE'S ALIVE!"*
- From the song, "He's Alive" by Eric Horst. Copyright, 2000
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
As the darkness begins to fade, those who were awake all night slowly pull themselves out of their own thoughts and look to the group. The fire is built back up. Several people scrounge for breakfast. Those who were sleeping are starting to come out of their troubled sleep. The line between sleep and awake not yet clearly crossed.
And then the footsteps. Some one running towards them. Some one shouting. The disciples look at each other, unsure what to do. Should they hide? Should they run? But at this point, tired and on the verge of despair, they gather around the fire and wait. And then she comes.
Mary Magdalene. Running. Yelling. Frantically trying to communicate while gasping for air. As she gets her breath the story unfolds. Tomb. Anointing. Empty grave. Body gone. Angels. Alive? I saw him. He called my name.
And Peter and John are racing towards the tomb. It couldn't be. She's gone crazy from the shock of his death. And there it is. The stone rolled away. The grave is empty. A glimpse of hope. Looking for a logical explanation.
Peter and John. Do you remember...? He said... I thought... Could he have meant? What would it mean? We saw him raise others from the dead. Yeah, but I... Is it possible?
"He is Risen, He's Alive.
No grave could keep Him down.
He is Risen, He's alive.
He's no longer in the ground.
Don't you remember what He told you,
The Son of Man must die.
And in three days He'll rise again
He is Risen, He's Alive.
HE IS RISEN! HE'S ALIVE!"*
- From the song, "He's Alive" by Eric Horst. Copyright, 2000
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
Saturday, April 23, 2011
It was a dark and stormy night...
It was a cold and rainy night. At least that's how I usually picture it. The disciples, at a loss for words and hope start come looking for something familiar. One at a time they come from wherever they went to hide and they return to a place they had gathered many times with Him. No words are spoken. Some have makeshift coverings to keep out of the rain. Others aren't even aware enough to care. But they come, seeking something they have known, seeking some kind of comfort, seeking community.
Their world has been shattered. Their lives forever changed. Their hope and excitement has been stolen. Their leader/teacher/mentor, the Messiah, is dead. They barely exist in this moment. They've given up jobs, families, futures, and security. And now what? Will they have to return to their families ashamed but admitting they were wrong? How will they live? Better yet, what will they live for? It's a cold, dark, and stormy night, even in the spiritual realm, and everyone can feel it.
I imagine sometimes what that night must have been, or at least may have been like. As several have gathered and others begin to show someone starts a fire and the all huddle close to get a little warmth. As more join the circle around the little fire I can hear the beginnings of sentences, many of which are never finished. Do you remember the time... Yeah but... What do you think... What are you going to do now? Where are you going to go? I remember... I thought... I was... Wasn't he... He could have...
And silence. Comforted by the warmth of the fire and the familiar company and a presence they all feel but can't quite explain they wait out the night mostly in silent reflection on their own thoughts. Where do we go from here? What happens now? Some may even drift off to a troubled sleep. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow...
Less of me, more of Him,
Eric
Their world has been shattered. Their lives forever changed. Their hope and excitement has been stolen. Their leader/teacher/mentor, the Messiah, is dead. They barely exist in this moment. They've given up jobs, families, futures, and security. And now what? Will they have to return to their families ashamed but admitting they were wrong? How will they live? Better yet, what will they live for? It's a cold, dark, and stormy night, even in the spiritual realm, and everyone can feel it.
I imagine sometimes what that night must have been, or at least may have been like. As several have gathered and others begin to show someone starts a fire and the all huddle close to get a little warmth. As more join the circle around the little fire I can hear the beginnings of sentences, many of which are never finished. Do you remember the time... Yeah but... What do you think... What are you going to do now? Where are you going to go? I remember... I thought... I was... Wasn't he... He could have...
And silence. Comforted by the warmth of the fire and the familiar company and a presence they all feel but can't quite explain they wait out the night mostly in silent reflection on their own thoughts. Where do we go from here? What happens now? Some may even drift off to a troubled sleep. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow...
Less of me, more of Him,
Eric
Friday, April 22, 2011
In my former life
Many times growth is seen by others before ourselves. And often, it's recognized first by those around us everyday because it's been a gradual happening so those closest to us don't see it as quickly as someone at a distance that when they do see us, see a dramatic change. I think this is true physically but is also true spiritually.
My brother, Doug, pointed something out to me this week from a post to my support team for my journey. I received a fairly negative comment on an evaluation this week and all evaluations get sent out to all the leadership and department heads where I work. Negativity towards me has always been one of my triggers to send me into an eating binge.
After seeing the comment I finished up some work, went home, had a "normal" supper and went about my evening activities. The only time I thought about pizza and chips or other junk food (Not saying pizza and chips can't be done in a healthy balanced way - that just wasn't my style) was when I thought, "wow - in the past I would have ended up eating 4-5 slices of pizza, an entire bag of chips, and probably some other junk food tonight." There was no thought to do that going on in my head. No battle to fight on that night anyway.
So I look back on the journey and see that more has happened than losing 60 pounds so far. I am becoming a new and healthier man - physically and emotionally.
"If anyone is in Christ there is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come." - 2Corinthians 5:17
May this be a daily reality for all of us. Today I place myself in Christ's hands to hold and to guide. In doing so I become new again - closer to Him and healthier than yesterday.
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
My brother, Doug, pointed something out to me this week from a post to my support team for my journey. I received a fairly negative comment on an evaluation this week and all evaluations get sent out to all the leadership and department heads where I work. Negativity towards me has always been one of my triggers to send me into an eating binge.
After seeing the comment I finished up some work, went home, had a "normal" supper and went about my evening activities. The only time I thought about pizza and chips or other junk food (Not saying pizza and chips can't be done in a healthy balanced way - that just wasn't my style) was when I thought, "wow - in the past I would have ended up eating 4-5 slices of pizza, an entire bag of chips, and probably some other junk food tonight." There was no thought to do that going on in my head. No battle to fight on that night anyway.
So I look back on the journey and see that more has happened than losing 60 pounds so far. I am becoming a new and healthier man - physically and emotionally.
"If anyone is in Christ there is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come." - 2Corinthians 5:17
May this be a daily reality for all of us. Today I place myself in Christ's hands to hold and to guide. In doing so I become new again - closer to Him and healthier than yesterday.
Less of me. More of Him.
Eric
Monday, April 18, 2011
Do the work
Have you ever prayed for something hard? I mean, something nearly impossible? Or at least that you thought was impossible? Have you wondered why God hasn't answered? I mean if God really loved us he'd take care of that need, right? He'd take away the problem we're faced with? He'd miraculously change what needed changing so that all would be right with our life?
I've prayed that prayer. I can't say how many times I cried myself to sleep or stood looking in a mirror ashamed of what I had become and crying out to God to fix it. I was tired of being overweight, I was disgusted with how I looked, I was mad at myself when I wasn't able to do things that I should have been able to do. And where was God? Where was God in my moments of deepest anguish? Why wasn't God listening? Why wasn't he answering and giving me the "desires of my heart" as he was supposed to do?
Where was God? He was standing with me. Holding me sometimes. Graciously helping me drift off to sleep to temporarily relieve my anguish. Where was God? Waiting. Waiting for me to do my part. Waiting for me to want the life change badly enough that I'd get off my butt and get to work.
In 1 Peter 1:6-7 Peter says that these "trials" which you have had to endure for a while and the grief you've suffered as a result have come so that your faith which is more valuable than gold, may be proved genuine and result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus is revealed. Gold - the standard by which all currencies are measured - will perish even though refined by fire. Our faith is more valuable than gold. Our faith will also be refined. Our faith will draw us closer to Jesus as the fire burns away the imperfections and flaws.
Where was my miracle? Why didn't God help me lose weight? I wasn't looking for God to help me - I was only looking for God to do it. When I started acting like I wanted God to help me, he has. Where is the miracle? The miracle is that God created my body to be healthy and in a few short months the damage I caused is being changed because of the work God and I are doing together on the body and the systems that God designed to respond well to healthy choices?
Where is the miracle? The miracle is in the week that mathematically I should have lost 7 pounds I lost 11. Where is God? He's walking beside me every day as I walk the exterior circle drive at Spruce Lake. He's spotting me as I lift weights in the gym. He's granting me rest. He created my body to respond to exercise. He has surrounded me with people to run the race with me. Where is God? Pacing me every step so I finish well. Where is God? Holding the finish line each day as I achieve a new milestone. Where is God? Cheering and encouraging as I run.
God's grace has always been free. God's gift of salvation requires only our acceptance of the gift. God desires more for us than we can possible imagine. Like any father He wants to give us the best of everything. Like any good father he knows that some of those blessings take work. He doesn't spoil us but wants us to experience the joy of working with him and drawing close to him. He shows us areas of our life that need cleaning and with a smile on his face he holds out the broom and waits.
So where was God in my years of anguish? Waiting with his running shoes on and a smile on his face holding out the baton to me. I finally saw clearly to grab the baton and make a clean exchange. It's a joy to be running this race to freedom with God who daily is there to encourage, support, cheer, and sometimes, as all good coaches do, even kick my butt.
So that all glory may be given to Him - the creator of all things and the creator of me when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Less of me - more of Him.
Eric
I've prayed that prayer. I can't say how many times I cried myself to sleep or stood looking in a mirror ashamed of what I had become and crying out to God to fix it. I was tired of being overweight, I was disgusted with how I looked, I was mad at myself when I wasn't able to do things that I should have been able to do. And where was God? Where was God in my moments of deepest anguish? Why wasn't God listening? Why wasn't he answering and giving me the "desires of my heart" as he was supposed to do?
Where was God? He was standing with me. Holding me sometimes. Graciously helping me drift off to sleep to temporarily relieve my anguish. Where was God? Waiting. Waiting for me to do my part. Waiting for me to want the life change badly enough that I'd get off my butt and get to work.
In 1 Peter 1:6-7 Peter says that these "trials" which you have had to endure for a while and the grief you've suffered as a result have come so that your faith which is more valuable than gold, may be proved genuine and result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus is revealed. Gold - the standard by which all currencies are measured - will perish even though refined by fire. Our faith is more valuable than gold. Our faith will also be refined. Our faith will draw us closer to Jesus as the fire burns away the imperfections and flaws.
Where was my miracle? Why didn't God help me lose weight? I wasn't looking for God to help me - I was only looking for God to do it. When I started acting like I wanted God to help me, he has. Where is the miracle? The miracle is that God created my body to be healthy and in a few short months the damage I caused is being changed because of the work God and I are doing together on the body and the systems that God designed to respond well to healthy choices?
Where is the miracle? The miracle is in the week that mathematically I should have lost 7 pounds I lost 11. Where is God? He's walking beside me every day as I walk the exterior circle drive at Spruce Lake. He's spotting me as I lift weights in the gym. He's granting me rest. He created my body to respond to exercise. He has surrounded me with people to run the race with me. Where is God? Pacing me every step so I finish well. Where is God? Holding the finish line each day as I achieve a new milestone. Where is God? Cheering and encouraging as I run.
God's grace has always been free. God's gift of salvation requires only our acceptance of the gift. God desires more for us than we can possible imagine. Like any father He wants to give us the best of everything. Like any good father he knows that some of those blessings take work. He doesn't spoil us but wants us to experience the joy of working with him and drawing close to him. He shows us areas of our life that need cleaning and with a smile on his face he holds out the broom and waits.
So where was God in my years of anguish? Waiting with his running shoes on and a smile on his face holding out the baton to me. I finally saw clearly to grab the baton and make a clean exchange. It's a joy to be running this race to freedom with God who daily is there to encourage, support, cheer, and sometimes, as all good coaches do, even kick my butt.
So that all glory may be given to Him - the creator of all things and the creator of me when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Less of me - more of Him.
Eric
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Know your weakness ... and make a plan
Last week I was on vacation. As I stated in my last blog vacations have been one of my points of weakness in past years when it comes to being healthy. So, in order to ensure this vacation had different results than previous ones I came up with a plan and worked my plan.
For any of us that have addictions or habits that have been habits for a long time we are trying to overcome accountability is a key. So my plan for this week included accountability. While I have a support team that I share details of my journey with I wanted a broader accountability for this trip. So, I ran a contest on my facebook page asking my friends to guess how much weight I would lose while on vacation. The winner of the contest gets dinner with me at a time we coordinate but it will also serve as a celebration of hitting one of my next milestones on this journey. One dinner to accomplish two things. Good plan. And well worth it.
In addition to that I planned my food. I new what I wanted to do for breakfast - see my vacation blog for the menu. I also knew I wanted to stick with what was working so I bought the amount of food I needed to cover every meal. One of my weaknesses is pizza - especially when on the road and I can have it delivered. So, I made sure to get some weight watchers and Lean Cuisine pizzas so I still had one of my favorite foods - just at a lot less calories and sodium than in the past.
I'm only speculating on some things I've learned the last few months but my guess is that my vacation last fall I averaged 3000-4000 calories consumed per day and 4000+ mg of sodium. No wonder I gain 10 pounds when on vacation. This vacation I averaged 1100-1200 calories per day and close to the 2000 mg of sodium my doctor says I should be at. That's success.
So, whatever addiction or habit you are trying to overcome. Know your weakness. Know what triggers you to make bad choices. Avoid those situations. Find a way around them. Seek out accountability. Be creative. Make a plan and follow it. If you need to change a pattern of life or a routine - do it.
And my last thought for today that just came to me as I was writing. Whatever you seek to hide or do in private that is a problem area - bring into the light. It's not a new thought. If your computer time is a problem and you hide in your office when using the computer - move the computer to the living room. Going back to my pizza example. It's okay for me to eat pizza occasionally. When I eat pizza with people - I keep myself to one or two slices - a healthy amount. When I eat pizza alone - I may eat the whole pizza. Solution for me - only eat pizza when I'm with people.
Blessings on your journey. May you find ways to acknowledge your weakness and overcome it - for your benefit and God's glory.
Less of me, more of Him.
Eric
For any of us that have addictions or habits that have been habits for a long time we are trying to overcome accountability is a key. So my plan for this week included accountability. While I have a support team that I share details of my journey with I wanted a broader accountability for this trip. So, I ran a contest on my facebook page asking my friends to guess how much weight I would lose while on vacation. The winner of the contest gets dinner with me at a time we coordinate but it will also serve as a celebration of hitting one of my next milestones on this journey. One dinner to accomplish two things. Good plan. And well worth it.
In addition to that I planned my food. I new what I wanted to do for breakfast - see my vacation blog for the menu. I also knew I wanted to stick with what was working so I bought the amount of food I needed to cover every meal. One of my weaknesses is pizza - especially when on the road and I can have it delivered. So, I made sure to get some weight watchers and Lean Cuisine pizzas so I still had one of my favorite foods - just at a lot less calories and sodium than in the past.
I'm only speculating on some things I've learned the last few months but my guess is that my vacation last fall I averaged 3000-4000 calories consumed per day and 4000+ mg of sodium. No wonder I gain 10 pounds when on vacation. This vacation I averaged 1100-1200 calories per day and close to the 2000 mg of sodium my doctor says I should be at. That's success.
So, whatever addiction or habit you are trying to overcome. Know your weakness. Know what triggers you to make bad choices. Avoid those situations. Find a way around them. Seek out accountability. Be creative. Make a plan and follow it. If you need to change a pattern of life or a routine - do it.
And my last thought for today that just came to me as I was writing. Whatever you seek to hide or do in private that is a problem area - bring into the light. It's not a new thought. If your computer time is a problem and you hide in your office when using the computer - move the computer to the living room. Going back to my pizza example. It's okay for me to eat pizza occasionally. When I eat pizza with people - I keep myself to one or two slices - a healthy amount. When I eat pizza alone - I may eat the whole pizza. Solution for me - only eat pizza when I'm with people.
Blessings on your journey. May you find ways to acknowledge your weakness and overcome it - for your benefit and God's glory.
Less of me, more of Him.
Eric
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