More little things

As I'm going on this journey I'm discovering that it really is the little things that matter most.  In the past 7 months I have not done a lot of celebrating of hitting milestones along the way.  While I realize it's important it really is the little things that are the most inspirational to me and I'm discovering the most important.

This week I've had several people approach me and ask me about my weight recognizing that I have lost a lot since they saw me last.  It's true - I have.  And I love talking about it.  It does give me a lot of joy.  But I'm also finding joy in the little things - things I didn't used to be able to do that most people who don't struggle with weight and even those who need to drop 20 or 30 or 50 pounds may never think about because they don't affect them.

I love getting into a vehicle and realizing I didn't put the steering wheel up all the way and it didn't matter.  I jumped in one of our trucks this week at work and for the first time in the 6 years I've been here my stomach didn't hit the steering wheel.  I sat in the sound booth on a stool facing forward instead of sideways and still had plenty of room between me and the board.  Little things make all the difference.

A few weeks ago I stepped on a chair to change a light bulb.  The bulb has been out for more than a year and I didn't trust my ability to get up on a chair - I was worried about the chair holding me but also about my ability to get on and off the chair without falling.  Little things matter.

I've bought almost all new clothes because the old ones are too big, not because anything has worn out or I wanted a new look.  I have a new look - thinner.  I bought some shorts in this last shipment of clothes - ones to wear in public, not just around the house.  Now I'm just looking for the courage and/or confidence to wear them in public.  Little things matter.

Walking forwards between rows of chairs instead of having to scoot sideways was a marvelous re-discovery.  Ending a day disappointed in the number of steps that must have been taken because my feet weren't sore and I really wasn't that tired and didn't think I had sweated a lot only to discover it was a 13,000+ step day.  Driving stakes into the ground with a sledgehammer and looking for more instead of someone to take over.  Little things make all the difference.

I'm discovering that it's the little things that are the motivation to keep going.  There's so many things I just adapted to that weren't meant to be.  Finding I don't have to stay at that place and keep doing those things the way I had adjusted to is self motivating.

I know I do need to celebrate the milestones.  And in the next few weeks I anticipate hitting a couple of big ones that will need to be celebrated.  But the reality is I'm no longer embarrassed to be in a picture or to see myself in a mirror.  My confidence is returning.  I am beginning to like myself again and feel good about who I am and who I am becoming.  And those things alone are reason to continue - one step, one block, one mile, one 5k, one 10k, and maybe more at a time.

Less of me.  More of Him.

-Eric