Fantasy to reality

A few days ago I crossed a significant threshold.  The first number on the scales changed from a 3 to a 2.  For the first time in at least 12 years I weigh less than 300 pounds.  That milestone is significant for a couple of reasons.

First, that was my goal for December 31 which puts me 4 months ahead of schedule.  Second, and I think much more important, it was a huge psychological moment for me.  One of my support team asked me if had ever dreamed of that moment.  While I had thought about it and what it might feel like I really didn't think I would achieve it when I started this journey.  Or maybe I did when I started but not before I had decided to make this journey.  Even putting down on paper that I was going to hit that goal I never really thought about what it would feel like or what a difference it would make to me.

I remember the time I realized I weighed over 300 pounds.  At some point I accepted that I was fat, was destined to be fat and that was how God created me.  Let's be clear - there are some people with medical conditions that make it difficult to maintain a healthy weight.  I, however, am not one of them, at least as far as I know.  Any tests I've had done have all come back normal.  There are plenty of physical reasons I've been overweight.  I ate too much and didn't get enough exercise.  I also ate the wrong things.  Those are physical reasons but all under my control.

I had accepted that it was my destiny to be physically unhealthy.  I don't accept that anymore.  I had accepted that I'd always be overweight, if not fat but I don't accept that anymore.  I had "dreamed" about being thin again - or at least getting back to my high school playing weight (not thin but solid) but they were more fantasies then goals.  They were in the realm of "that would be nice" or "I wish I could..." but never, "I'm going to do this" and "I'm on my way."

One of my dreams or fantasies has now become reality.  I'm more than halfway to my goal, I've dropped below the 300 pound barrier, I'm starting to see the light, and I'm on the journey.  I think the most important thing I've seen on this journey is that my thinking is changing.  It may not be totally there yet but it's coming.  I don't have to be unhealthy.  I was not destined to be in poor health.  Don't get me wrong - God is welcome to take me home anytime but God did not make me overweight - I did that totally on my own. 

My thinking is changing from "that would be nice" to "this is going to happen."  I can do it.  I've shown that so far and I will finish this race.  Not for my benefit alone but for God's glory who created me in His image for His glory.  I will finish because God is running with me.  I have lost 133 pounds in 8 months.  I will lose another 107.  I don't know how long it will take but I will get there.  Fantasy has become reality and will continue to be.

Less of me.  More of Him

-Eric