Victories

Friday morning I stood up in front of a group of men and shared my story briefly.  It was almost exactly a year ago I started working towards health.  I still have a ways to go.  But today I'm reflecting on the victories over the last year.  My next post may be on the defeats since there certainly have been those as well.  Let's start with the big obvious ones.

In 2011 I lost 150 pounds - an average weight person.  While I'm still overweight it's a really good start.  What does this mean for me?  I feel better.  I look better.  Clothes cost less.  Health insurance costs less (or would if I was getting a policy on my own rather than through work and a group plan).  I can fit into spaces I didn't used to be able to fit in.  I'm comfortable doing things I would not have been comfortable doing a year ago - like getting up off the floor without something to lean on or hold.

I set a number of goals in 2011 connected with my new lifestyle and I think I achieved every one.  That doesn't mean I couldn't have done more - some of my setbacks were pretty huge.  But I hit my targets.  I set a goal to lose 130 pounds and lost 150.  I set a goal to complete a 5k race and I completed two.  I issued a challenge to lose 100 pounds from May 22, 2011 to May 20, 2012 and while not there yet I am ahead of schedule with only 21 pounds to go.  I pledged to lose 50 pounds in the biggest loser pound for pound challenge and hit that number early in April.  That means 50 pounds of food was donated to a food bank in Allentown.  I made regular presentations throughout the summer and now again at our men's retreat last week in which I shared my current weight and at each presentation I was at least a little less than the presentation before.

At my doctor's appointment this fall I was happy to get on the scales and weigh in and took great joy in my doctors expression and encouragement in my work so far.  His comment "I guess you don't need those medications anymore" was what I was hoping to hear.  Blood work showed my blood sugar levels were normal which means I don't have diabetes and I know had I not made the changes I've made this year I would at least be headed in that direction.

There are some other victories that I hadn't thought about before but now I see them happening.  I now do things without thinking that I used to not do because I was scared - like climbing a ladder.  I see more people being excited for me and cheering for me than I expected - not that I didn't think people would notice but I guess I didn't realize how many people cared or how much they cared. 

One of the greatest victories in the last year is that I'm starting to be happy again.  I still have a ways to go but I'm not ashamed to look at myself in a mirror anymore.  I'm not embarrassed by my physical ability or lack of it very often anymore.  I'm rediscovering myself - maybe even becoming new all over again and I like what I'm finding.  I'm gaining confidence.  I'm starting to see possibilities and to dream again.  While this is also a little scary I had pretty much given up on dreaming and pursuing challenging goals.

I think the greatest victory of all is that God proved himself to me again.  And He didn't have to.  I wanted Him to but He's God - it was His call.  In December of 2010 when I was deciding to move forward on this journey towards health I remember singing the song "His grace is enough" and asking God if he'll really remember His child (me) and His promises to me.  He has and He continues to do exactly that.  God is gracious and His mercies are indeed new every morning to help, comfort, and guide one decision, one hour one day and one step at a time.

I don't know what your picture of God is - or maybe it's how you picture your guardian angel - if indeed we all have one.  But my new picture of God is my friend who meets me every day with sweats and running shoes on, ready to face the day together.  May 2012 be the year you discover a new picture of God for you that will help lead you closer to Him.

Less of Me.  More of Him.
-Eric